RIMSAP

So I first found out about RIMSAP through a past photography client of mine who had gone through the program.  I don’t think I would’ve had a chance of getting in had it not been for this program.  RIMSAP stands for Rural Illinois Medical Student Assistance Program.  This program, a result of efforts from the Illinois Farm Bureau and the Illinois Medical Society, assists pre-med students that desire to practice in rural areas after training in gaining admission to medical school with a heavily weighted recommendation.  I grew up in rural Illinois, currently raising my kids in rural Illinois, I couldn’t imagine living and working anywhere but a rural community.  Life is just different.  If you know, you know, right?

So I applied to the program, barely making the deadline because of some snags I ran into.  Sure enough, I secured an interview (which I still feel like I fumbled through).  Thankfully, the board members were able to see my honest intentions and the hard work I had already put in just getting to the point of applying (while working and raising three young kids) and provided me with a recommendation.

I recently went to a luncheon with the board and the few fellow incoming medical students that were also provided with a recommendation and were accepted.  It was the first time I really ever experienced imposter syndrome to such an intense degree.  We took photos as a group and individually with the board members.  The board members, comprised of physicians and people in agriculture, volunteer their time to be on this board and have a genuine passion for getting physicians to rural areas.  And I was one of these selected few.  I won’t lie, I felt a little intimidated, but mostly I felt like I shouldn’t be there.  They chose the wrong person, there’s no way they meant to choose me.  As we were taking pictures, I couldn’t help but think “I shouldn’t be here.”

I know damn well that I worked my ass off to even get to the point of being able to apply to medical school.  These people are putting their faith in me.  It was a little overwhelming.

This was a couple weeks ago and I still feel traces of those thoughts and feelings, but I also know that I earned my spot in medical school.  I have a feeling that I’ll be battling with these emotions for a little while, but I also have a feeling that in a few short weeks I’ll be far too busy to worry about it.